Stop, Rewind, Reboot

There’s a reason I haven’t posted in a little longer than usual. It was a wall called “story on the wrong track” and I ran into it at full speed. Ow. That’s going to leave a mark for a while.

Cayle and I have spent since Monday disagreeing. I’ve been trying to write and his response to every attempt in that time has been the equivalent of a very long, very nasty stream of expletives. I’d honestly thought him better mannered than that. He usually is. I’ve been trying to soldier on, but I had to acknowledge defeat tonight and figure out what the problem was. I mean, he’d been quite cooperative until now, so I figured something had to be seriously wrong. And it was. Cayle is always right, I think.

I went back and looked at what I was doing with honest, open eyes. I feel like doing a VERY serious headdesk at the moment, because I realized that I was essentially backsliding into an old bad habit with regard to story-building, one I thought I’d conquered. At least it’s just the last section that has turned out like that. I’ve got to rework a bit less than 3k words, so it could be considerably worse. The last time I made this mistake, it cost me a whole draft, so I’m trying to remember that upside. I’m trying very hard (yes, that means it’s not working very well, not the point).

I think I have a line on how to fix this, though, and I don’t think it’ll change too much. I’ll likely spend the rest of the night and at least part of tomorrow replanning the parts that have to be tweaked. I think that, if I do that, I’ll be able to get back to forward progress with Unmasked and finish it off. I’m close, which makes this so much more annoying. It’s not so much that I want to be finished. It’s more that the end is so close I can taste it.

To be honest, I think part of the problem as well is that I’m coming down with some sort of cold or something worse (please not the flu, please NOT the flu). I’m tired all the time and have trouble concentrating on just about anything, even at work. Part of me wants to be done so I can just deal with getting sick, and the rest of me is scared of putting this on hold for any longer than the work day and losing the thread of what I was doing with the story. And then there’s the part that just wants to curl into a ball and sleep for the next hundred years. Yes, I’m that kind of tired at the moment. Then I have trouble getting to sleep. I can’t fricking win at the moment, really, I can’t.

At least Cayle is being patient with me while I make a mess of his story and paddle around in it, expletives notwithstanding. He’s even being sweet about the fact that I am so tired I can’t think straight to fix it all the way at the moment. I hate feeling like this.

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About Julie

I'm a writer and photographer. I always have something with me to take notes for ideas or writing projects I'm thinking about or have on the go. I also like to go around with my camera and take pictures of anything that strikes me as beautiful or evocative. I'm perpetually working on one story or another, while waiting for enough distance to judge the last one (or more). I'm always working on several projects at once, developing the next book, even as I'm editing the last. Beyond that, there's always plenty of scraps and twists of ideas rolling around in my head, eventually turning themselves into full blown stories.
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10 Responses to Stop, Rewind, Reboot

  1. R. K. MacPherson says:

    Going through a bit of this myself. I’m going to end up chucking about 10K words, I think, but after a plotting session with a buddy, I think I’ll be able to move forward.

    Just like you…except for the hair.

    • Julie says:

      I could send you some if I ever get around to that hair cut I’ve been meaning to get. šŸ˜‰

      I just wish I was more conscious for the bit of replotting I have to do. I feel like my brain’s packed in cotton and trying to function with loose, frayed wires. Not conducive to working well. :p

      I hope your reworking goes well though. šŸ™‚

  2. 4amWriter says:

    At least you knew enough to stop and really examine what was going on. That saved you months of work, probably. Hope you feel better soon.

    • Julie says:

      Weeks, certainly. Also, it is just the end, which is good. It’s not the whole draft. I’m trying to focus on these good things, it just doesn’t help that I usually get a bit cranky when I’m sick. Harder to keep perspective then. :p

  3. wordsurfer says:

    Arch…. I can feel your frustration dripping off my computer screen. So sorry. I’d say, curing yourself out properly would be first priority, but then, you’d probably be frustrated because you’re not working on the story. Just take care of yourself, though, alright?

    • Julie says:

      Lol, how well you know me. I’m going to try to do a bit of both, fixing and nursing myself around. I figure that should work out as long as I don’t push it too hard. Thanks.

  4. jmmcdowell says:

    I would add “please not mono” to the mantra because you just described its symptoms, too. I don’t know if we ever reach the point where we don’t fall into an old bad habit once in a while. The key is to recognize it early, as you did, so we don’t end up back at square one.

    Take care of yourself! If your characters read your posts and comments, then I’d like them to know that they should let you rest when you’re not well. It’ll be easier for you to write their stories when you’re feeling better!

    • Julie says:

      You know, I remember having that discussion with Devan at one point, that I needed rest to get better. He didn’t listen. Cayle… Well, he’s letting me take it a bit easy at least at the moment, but I think that’s more because I’m trying to figure out the right way forward. I should warn you, they don’t even listen to me, but appreciate your attempt to reason with them. šŸ™‚

      The main reason I was thinking flu was because it’s been running around the office at the day job. I’m still hoping it isn’t that, but I suspect it is, especially with the headache and sore throat I have this morning. I’m probably going to curl up in bed and sleep this weekend away.

  5. Arlene says:

    I think its great that you were able to catch your backsliding so quickly. Nice job … that’s a huge up side IMO. Hope you feel better soon!!!!!

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