My Neuroses Are Running Away With Me

Really, seriously, I am neurotic in my own way. Maybe I should say “ways” because I never do just one thing at a time.  Why be just one kind of crazy when I can be several?  And don’t tell me this is news to you guys, because I think it only takes reading one blog post to realize that I really am that crazy-writer-lady.  Honestly, I don’t even try to hide it because, well, that would be impossible.

So, rather than make you pretend to be surprised by this, I’ll just answer the question I’m sure you’re thinking.  What is it this time? *snicker* Mostly it’s about my short story.  Remember me saying that I had entered it in a quarterly contest called Writers of the Future? I’ve actually been tremendously proud of myself for not saying much about it beyond that, and the very minimal detail in my Project Status page about it.  I really thought I was doing well in mostly ignoring it and not worrying about the status of it at all. That was going wonderfully, totally awesome.  Until today, when I realized that the contest closes in just a few more days.  Eep.  And, as if that wasn’t bad, I also realized that there’s a single spelling error in it (How the hell did that get past me and several readers, and does that mean that there are more? ARGH!).  Total mental meltdown occurred.  I now have no ability to ignore it anymore.  So, let the reading-too-much-into-everything begin.  I am going to restrain myself from going into it all here, but trust me, the thoughts on the subject that are circling my head are repetitious, stupid and above all, very neurotic.  I need to forget about that story again somehow…  Anyone have a vial of highly selective, non-permanent memory loss available that I can have?  Please?  Come on, save the crazy writer, she needs it.

And there’s more. Yes, more.  I’m not sure if it’s a result of the short story issue, or I’ve just done so much work in the last 6 months (has it really only been that long?) that I’ve exhausted my ability to control my insanity, but it is definitely spreading.  After that fabulous weekend with The Nine, and me just planning out the most gorgeous scene, one I know I can write well on the first draft grading curve, I’m sitting here at 7 pm worried that I won’t get enough written tonight.  See?  N-E-U-R-O-T-I-C.  Totally and utterly.  At least I’m still looking forward to writing this scene.  But then, I’ve been looking forward to this scene since… well, writing the second draft of Bound, because I knew this one would happen, for sure.  😀  No, not going to hint at what it is.  I’m kind of evil like that, in addition to being crazy.

I’m actually finding that, in the back of my head, even though I’m starting to spiral down into the story for The Nine, part of my brain is desperate to work on Bound, to go back and act on the feedback I’ve received.  I need to split like an amoeba (only remain a smart human person).  I’d get more done, I swear.  So much going on right now, but I seem to like it that way.  Maybe I’ll take a break when I’m done writing The Nine and just edit my way through the trilogy, get it out of my system before I ramp up into Necromantic.  *snort* Yeah, cause Devan would really be understanding about that.  Right.  And of course, I could totally lay off like that.  I can hear you all laughing at me from here.

I’d apologize for all of the above, but this is my blog, after all, and I had to get that out of my system in order to write tonight.

Oh, and this picture seems, well, appropriate to the way my brain has been today.


About Julie

I'm a writer and photographer. I always have something with me to take notes for ideas or writing projects I'm thinking about or have on the go. I also like to go around with my camera and take pictures of anything that strikes me as beautiful or evocative. I'm perpetually working on one story or another, while waiting for enough distance to judge the last one (or more). I'm always working on several projects at once, developing the next book, even as I'm editing the last. Beyond that, there's always plenty of scraps and twists of ideas rolling around in my head, eventually turning themselves into full blown stories.
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21 Responses to My Neuroses Are Running Away With Me

  1. Do I get a dispensation for making rude comments?

    Before I go any further, thought I should check ..

  2. Now we have the proof, before all we had were suspicions, lol!

    • Julie says:

      You know, for some reason I was fairly sure that I’d already given ample evidence of this, but I’ll admit, even the dead could get this one. :p

  3. Em says:

    bwahaha! Best ending to a blog post ever.

    My fingers are crossed for your short story. I certainly liked it (but, granted, I wasn’t looking for spelling errors at the time, so I might have glossed over that…apologies).

    Gorgeous scenes that you’ve looked forward to writing can drive you insane when they don’t turn out immediately perfect. Just get it down and know that you have lots of time to tweak it, even tomorrow.

    • Julie says:

      No worries on the spelling error. It was really meant to illustrate how neurotic I got over something so small. A single spelling error, paints instead of pants. I mean, come on.

      And believe me, there’s a reason I have a specific curve to grade first drafts on. I know better than to expect perfect. Hell, I’m just happy to have thought up the details for it I have. 😀

  4. PS I don’t think it’s fair you end your blog in such a way .. it left us confused … and sorry but LIKE I NEED HELP WITH THAT?????????????????

  5. Posky says:

    Luckily creativity has a way of working well with the neurotic soul. That doesn’t make it any easier to live your normal life, it just give you a leg up in productivity.

    • Julie says:

      Um, I don’t do normal, and I’m not sure about this whole having a life thing either. Of course, it’s routinely that way when I’m in the middle of a draft… And when I’m outlining… and editing…

      Okay, so there’s a reason I call myself the crazy writer-lady. 🙂

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