This Is Where I Expected My Brain To Die

There was a plan for this post and a reason why I titled it this way, but that has been entirely derailed by a better use for this title.  Be forewarned:  Loopy, sleep deprived author at the keyboard today.

So, the last couple of days have been good, 6,484 yesterday and a best ever 1-day total today of 7,065 (which is a miracle given my present state) and the draft has reached grand total of 67,837 words.  I’m on the doorstep of the climax, and just finished a couple of major, difficult scenes.  I even think I did a good job on them, but we’ll see what I think on later reading.  As always, I reserve judgement. (and in case you’re wondering, the title originally centred around how bloody much I’ve been writing since I hit vacation)

Now, that said, I hear your question.  Why the loopy, sleep deprived comment?  Oh boy.  Where to begin.

You have to understand, I generally make sure that I stop writing early enough (say 10ish) to spin my brain down for sleep, but that didn’t happen last night.  I just couldn’t stop writing (Where is the Writers’ wing of the Betty Ford Clinic when I need it?) and so it was around midnight when I packed it in, only through force of will, and laid down to sleep.  And rolled over.  And tossed, definitely did some turning.  Got up, went back to laying down, rolled over some more.  See, there was no sleeping done by me until sometime after 3 AM!  Why?  My brain would not go quietly into the night and instead kept world-building and story-building away at books 2 and 3 in the Dark Mirror trilogy.  I was pleased by it’s output (all noted down, thank you iPad that lives within arm’s reach wherever possible) but very very displeased by it’s timing.  I mean, come on, midnight to 3 AM seemed like a good idea to who?  Not this writer, who actually likes sleeping.  As I finally did fall asleep, though, I was comforted by the notion that, as I am still on vacation, I could at least sleep in.  Really late.  That was the plan, I swear, right up until 8 AM when my brain woke up on all cylinders and insisted it was time to write.  That bitch.

I tried to argue with it, I really did, but after 15 minutes and only getting more awake by the second, I gave up and made coffee.  Ugh.  I am amazed I managed to write anything today, let alone have it go as well as it did.   I mean, very little sleep and 7k of what I think may actually be good prose?  Seems too much to ask.  I’m just hoping that it doesn’t seem like crap when I end up rereading at least part of it tomorrow in order to orient myself for tomorrow’s writing bender.

I’m also hoping for more sleep tonight.  If I end up staying up until 3 AM again, I might go postal on someone tomorrow, no matter why I end up awake that late.  After a while, some things cannot be borne without protest.


About Julie

I'm a writer and photographer. I always have something with me to take notes for ideas or writing projects I'm thinking about or have on the go. I also like to go around with my camera and take pictures of anything that strikes me as beautiful or evocative. I'm perpetually working on one story or another, while waiting for enough distance to judge the last one (or more). I'm always working on several projects at once, developing the next book, even as I'm editing the last. Beyond that, there's always plenty of scraps and twists of ideas rolling around in my head, eventually turning themselves into full blown stories.
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4 Responses to This Is Where I Expected My Brain To Die

  1. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Ha! Love that – the writer’s wing of the Betty Ford Clinic. I once actually stayed up LITERALLY THE WHOLE NIGHT on something I could NOT let go of. I left for work 8.30 a.m. the next day, made my son’s school lunch etc. I survived the day really well (on coffee) and thought, wow, maybe I don’t need so much sleep…. but then THE NEXT DAY I was so f*ked. I was done, so damn tired.

    You’ve done heaps of words. Power girl – keep going 🙂

    • Julie says:

      Thanks for the comment!

      Yeah, it’s amazing how sleep deprivation will catch up to you when you least expect it/run out of coffee. I only seem to stay up all night with other people’s books so far, but that is mostly due to my understanding of my limitations. I need at least a little sleep to write, where I apparently don’t need it to rad. Hmm, note to self for the editing phase. Or mb not, since I’ll also probably be banging away at an outline of my next project at the same time.

  2. ottabelle says:

    Sleep. Good. Have a talk with your novel. It needs to understand this.

    • Julie says:

      I have to say, as an insomniac for many years, I can live without sleep and sadly my writer’s brain knows this. I think it takes advantage sometimes. Oh well. I’ll survive.

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