Giving Myself Permission
I’m still struggling some with this same section of Unmasked. I have a better idea where it’s going and what I need to do. I’m working on reshaping it, but the work is going slower than I like. I know part of the problem, which is my usual impatience, and the rest of it is that I’m used to doing everything at a fast pace. I need to learn patience, but I suspect that’s sort of a rest-of-my-life quest. In the meantime, I’m trying something else that I need to work on, so I don’t force the writing or drive myself crazy(er).
Confession time. I’ve hardly done anything beyond writing for over a year. I mean there’s been a couple of books I read, and a couple of trips to visit family and friends, but that’s about it. So I’ve spent this weekend watching the first few seasons of Fringe (I have the blu-rays) and surfing. I’ve made notes, written a few hundred words here and there, which I think I’ll have to throw out again, and tried to let myself have a couple of days of taking it easy. It’s been hard work. I wish I meant that sarcastically. I really do mean it though. Kicking back and not screaming at myself that I should be writing has become incredibly hard for me. I want to be writing, but I think I’ll just keep making more words I have to throw out if I don’t let my brain wander a bit. So I’m trying. Today should be a bit easier, as I have my usual chores, and then I’ll be back to watching Fringe and taking some notes. At least that is resulting in some progress. I think an attempt to fully stop would result in a rebellious need to start another project, if only to write something. That would be bad. Trust me.
There’s a reason I refer to myself as a writing addict, after all.
I know it’s good to step away from time to time, honestly, I do, but until now I didn’t feel the need to and I’m really not quite sure what to do with myself now that I do need to. I’ll figure it out though.